Five Books to Read in Your 20's - Book 2

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

This book is an example of what I discussed in my introduction. After receiving my first job offer out of college, I immediately received an email to schedule a call with a Vice President from my prospective employer. After talking for a little while, I knew this individual was someone I wanted to understand more deeply. At the end of the conversation, I asked my favorite question and was met with this book.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is all about principles that apply to every aspect of our lives that offer a framework for creating the life we aspire to live and how to achieve peak human effectiveness. This book also heavily addresses our perceptions which we must adjust, as Covey describes it, a paradigm shift, to adopt the habits that allow for this peak human effectiveness.

"One of the most profound learnings of my life is this: if you want to achieve your highest aspirations and overcome your greatest challenges, identify and apply the principle of natural law that governs the results you seek. How we apply a principle will vary greatly and will be determined by our unique strengths, talents, and creativity, but, ultimately, success in any endeavor is always derived in acting in harmony with the principles to which success is tied."

The parallels between this book and A Man's Search for Meaning are countless, as you will see with other books on this lift. Covey actually discusses A Man's Search For Meaning in his book. As mentioned previously, just as each of the books deserves entire articles to scratch the surface, each habit is no different. Again, to keep it short and sweet, I will offer a few sentences summarizing each of these habits and a few sentences on why it is important. The Seven Habits are as follows:

1. Be Proactive

What this Means: We are in control of our lives. "Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom the choose." Proactive people understand our behavior, not conditions or circumstances that dictate how we feel. Sound familiar? If not, read this first article in this series, Five Books to Read in Your 20's - Book 1.

Why it's important: Reactive people live a life based on things outside their control, forfeiting themselves to external circumstances. This is the difference between living and not.

2. Begin with the End in Mind

What this Means: Envision where you want to go to ensure your daily actions align with this vision. By beginning with the end in mind, we set an intention for our lives that guides us in every decision. Remember our story earlier about driving to Syracuse? Better to drive in the straightest line than in circles.

Why it's Important: If we do not have a clear vision of where we want to go, we will be in constant conflict internally as we try to reach a non-existent destination, never knowing what leads us or which way to go. We will waste our lives, never even knowing what we hoped to accomplish.

3. Put First Things First

What this Means: Prioritize the most essential activities in your life with importance defined by something that has to do with results that align with your mission, values, or high priority goals. Do not allow others to dictate what is important, and do not allow daily chaos to mistake you into thinking you are doing the most important things. "The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule but to schedule your priorities."

Why it's Important: The effects of not putting first things first will lead to subpar results and the inability to progress towards your goals often without even being aware of it. Additionally, by constantly prioritizing the wrong activities, it can be challenging to escape crisis-management mode, which is a sure-fire way to live a life of stress and burn-out.

4. Think Win/Win

What this Means: "Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a Win/Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan."

Why it's Important: Without this mindset, we lose our ability to collaborate and operate in silos or worse against one another. This inherently inhibits our ability to achieve long-lasting results and can cause resentment.

5. Seek First to Understand...Then to be Understood

What this Means: To effectively communicate with someone, we must fully understand the other person's thoughts through emphatic listening. "Empathic listening (from empathy) gets inside another person's frame of reference. You look through it, you see the world the way they see the world, you understand their paradigm, you understand how they feel." By gaining this understanding, you can communicate in a way that most resonates with the other person's perspective.

Why it's Important: "Empathic listening is so powerful because it gives you accurate data to work with. Instead of projecting your own autobiography and assuming thoughts, feelings, motives, and interpretation, you're dealing with the reality inside another person's head and heart." Someone who feels heard is much more likely to listen. "Communication is the most important skill in life."

6. Synergize

What this Means: Synergy is putting two or more things together that create an outsized outcome. "Simply defined, it means that whole is greater than the sum of its parts."

Why it's Important: By working with others to create synergies, we allow ourselves to magnify the impact we can create. We can make up for our shortcomings and help others close the gap on theirs, allowing for the greatest possible results. Look at any successful business or team. Without each individual and collaboration, it would have never achieved its results.

7. Sharpen the Saw

What this Means: Sharpening the saw means investing in yourself. "The single most powerful investment we can ever make in life – investment in ourselves, in the only instrument we have with which to deal with life and contribute." "If I only had an hour to chop down a tree, I would spend the first 45 minutes sharpening my axe," Abraham Lincoln.

Why it's Important: Without an investment in ourselves, we will never grow and reach our full potential. Investing in ourselves allows us to recharge and operate at our full capacity.

Again, these synopses of the first two books in our series do little justice to their lessons' magnitude. As you see in both, the why is equally important as the teaching. Life is so incredibly complex and simple simultaneously, creating a unique opportunity to understand its lessons while continuing to learn them forever. If there is one takeaway, let it be this, by deciding to be the author of your story and pursuing your purpose daily, you will unlock a world where anything is possible.